Our Beautiful, Dark, Twisted Lies
by My.Heart.My.Choice
Summary: Itachi wants a normal life, away from his sister. She wants revenge. Hidan wants Konan to stop thinking of him as a bastard. Deidara's in love with the enemy. Kakuzu's gay for his arsehole, loudmouth partner. Lies and secrets make our world go round.
1. Chapter 1: Pilot

**A/N: Unlike my other stories, I'm trying not to rush this one into anything unnecessary and boring, so this is out of my comfort zone. If you think I should continue, please review, because unless people are going to like this, I'd be wasting my own time, m'kay? I accept constructive advice.**

**Enjoy.**

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><p><em>I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm<em>

_When you passed out_

_I couldn't bring myself to call_

_Except to call it quits_

_Best friends_

_Ex-friends till the end_

_Better off as lovers_

_And not the other way around_

_Racing through the city_

_Windows down_

_In the back of yellow checkered cars_

_You're wrong (wrong)_

_Are we all wrong_

_You're wrong (wrong)_

_Are we all wrong_

_This city says..._

_Come hell or high water_

_Well I'm feeling hot and wet_

_I can't commit to a thing_

_Be it heart or hospital_

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><p><em><strong>~Beginnings~<strong>_

_**/Itachi/**_

"Itachi-san. Nice to meet you, I'm Kisame Hoshigaki."

The first thing he said to me was 'Itachi-san', but I didn't deserve the honorific.

I was the silent mystery of the Akatsuki. Silent, brooding, evil man who killed his clan, etc. Labels were all I knew and what others thrived on. I was a murderer, a monster. I killed my family, albeit under the Hokage's orders, but I did. I could have refused and I could have fought. But I didn't. I was weak. It was always 'Itachi' this and 'Itachi' that and I was sick of it. Sick of it so bad, I don't regret doing what I did. That wasn't true. I had to, I tell myself but I didn't have to. I could have stopped it. I could have been a hero. But now I'm stuck here, in this forsaken dump with a shark as my partner. Kisame-san's actually not too bad, but he's so funny and sarcastic it reminds me of-

Her.

My sister was the other problem in my not-so-perfect life. One was Sasuke, and the other was… her. Shiai Uchiha was the back-up plan to my parents if I ever did not comply to a mission, a talk, a lecture. Sasuke was the rebound.

It's like our lives revolved around the lies and scandals of the Uchiha clan and the Senju. Their bitching and moaning led to their own demise, their end, their suffering. I tried to tell myself that it was meant to be. But it isn't. It shouldn't be. There's always a choice, she told me, always another option. She used to say that our parent's other option was her, but she didn't know who I was. A monster.

Itachi Uchiha.

This game is all wrong. I'm all wrong. I laid down in bed. Kisame was snoring lightly, like a fish.

_Fishes don't snore_, she used to tell me. After all this, hearing about her death has brought up unwanted memories, thoughts and old things I left behind. In the past, where I wanted them to stay forever, to escape my guilt and the pain it brought me until it died away.

Only 2 years difference, could mean a lot. But she could have beaten me if she wanted to back then. Not now. She was somewhere with mother and father and the others.

She used to babysit the Uchiha nin's offspring after school until she had enough saved up to buy the whole family dinner at Ichiraku Ramen. Father didn't want to show up, mother was sick, and I was away on a mission. She sat alone that night at Ichiraku, before the ramen got cold. Teuchi-san offered to refund her but she said no. A wasted effort, for a waste of space; befitting the high and mighty Uchiha clan.

Kisame was still snoring away, lightly albeit, I have to admit. I closed my eyes. Nothing, just the sensation of darkness. She used to love darkness.

I guess I should take into consideration that there's a slight chance she may be alive. But I doubt it. Sasuke's after revenge.

He's madly in love with the idea of killing me, it's changed him. Ran off to that pedophiliac snake, gave me a heart attack. I wonder if she's still alive sometimes, but the last I heard, she perished in the Yure River of Sunagakure. That night, my hands were shaking. They were shaking so, so bad I couldn't even feel anything until he came. My father was a bastard, not looking at the talent in front of him and instead focusing on the images. Me. Shiai could have been the saviour of Konoha, the angel within the demons of earth. She was that, everything. Daddy's little girl and the epitome of perfection in everyone's eyes, but yet they chose me. Unfortunate, cruel me.

So I did it. The hardest one to kill was Mikoto, and the easiest was Fugaku. The hardest to leave was Sasuke and the one who didn't bring me anything at all was Shiai. A mission saved her. She would have been the hardest to kill if she was there. But she wasn't. So my beloved sister remained alive. Until a river took her down. Or maybe it didn't. I don't know. It's hard to keep up with the trends while you're part of an evil organisation, trained to kill. I can't talk to anyone without feeling a little reminiscent about my family. It was like a family within a nightmare. One that never ended and one I couldn't tell anyone.

Itachi the Pacifist of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, Konohagakure. Che, what a title.

So I keep everything bottled up, in this sinful vessel of mine and hope that I won't hurt anyone when I finally explode.

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><p><em><strong>Hidan/**_

Kakuzu's snoring way too loud. It's like a drill within my ears, just hammering away at my insides. I just want to wake him up and shake the fuck out of him so he stops mutilating my ears. It's around 2.00 in the morning and no one else is awake, as far as I know. I'm just the unlucky person who happened to be chosen to sleep in the same room as Mr. JackHammer.

He's taking up most of the bed as well. He hogs the pillows too. He's a fucking panda bear. I don't like animals.  
>I don't like animals, I've said that countless times. But it's actually kind of a lie, because I don't like most animals but I like some. I hate Uchiha's stupid crows and Orochi-bastards snakes but I like cats. It's strange. Because when I was in Yugakure, I fed the stray cats outside my building complex. Because they were like me. Unwanted mutts in a cruel, cruel world. But I survived, and I grew up. I have Kakuzu and the rest of the Akatsuki, even Uchiha-bastard and Pein. I'm not alone. Even though I hate Uchiha and Pein, and Kakuzu seems to hate me, I'm not alone. Like those cats in the alleys with no one but themselves and the rare occasional person to feed them.<p>

Which would be me. Just me.

At night, it's not so bad around Kakuzu, once you tune out the snoring. I don't hate him. Zombie Combo; my arse. He's not immortal, like me, but immortality isn't everything. You learn to grow attached to someone before losing them completely. Kakuzu told me that, but I don't really believe him. I have my religion. I have feelings, unlike Sasori. Sometimes that puppet boy's way of life is too easy. No pain, physical or mental, but I'd be shitting myself if I didn't feel anything.

It's like falling into an abyss of nothingness and emptiness. Like a glass half empty or half full. No decisions, no guilt.

Feelings get in the way. If I just didn't feel anything, life would be so much more easier. The cats would be dead and I would be on the floor in pieces. Kakuzu's stopped snoring. Finally. It's too quiet now, though. Silence pierces through my ears, and I turn and try to block out the noise but it's way, way, too loud. Silence isn't always the best.

Silence is good for contemplating life like I have been, but we have a mission tomorrow. I need my fucking sleep.

I turn and poke Kakuzu in the back.

"Hnn? What the hell.." He mumbles before kicking me.

"Kakuzu. Keep snoring, I can't sleep." I said, turning around to my side, expecting to hear snoring again.

"Whaat?" He snorts.

"The silence is too loud."

"Are you kidding me." He slurs. "And anyway,"

"I don't snore."

"...Right." I say. I stifle a cough but he's already sleeping. Lazy bastard.

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><p><strong>AN: For those of you who are smart cookies, yes, Shiai is alive. She should come about in later chapters, because I don't want to rush this. Cookies for people who know what Shiai means in Japanese!(:  
>Feel free to review, like, wanted pairings, but do not ask me to randomly drag Sakura into this. I mean, okay, she killed Sasori, the sexual tension and all, but really? No. Just no. <strong>

**Please review or PM me, because I won't bother writing this if no one even gives a shit about it. And also, the song above is 'Bang The Doldrums' by Fall Out Boy, because it pretty much is exactly the relationship between Shiai and Itachi. Do I smell incest? **

**-MyHeart **


	2. Chapter 2: Realisation

**_A/N: Well. No one, 'cept one, really reviewed but I will post this chapter. 'Cos I can. This one isn't very good, to me, but I accept constructive criticism and advice fully. Enjoy~_**

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><p><em>Get the fuck away from me!<em>

_I know that I have done wrong and continue to do so but without remorse_  
><em>I know that I am on a fast track to the grave and I'm headed there alone<em>  
><em>I struggle to find myself this time<em>  
><em>Save yourself for a man with a conscience<em>  
><em>I fight to find myself this time<em>  
><em>Save yourself for a man that is not me<em>

_I spend my days looking through pages_  
><em>Tryin to find a way, to get away from me<em>  
><em>A lot to give that leaves you breathless<em>  
><em>Now all I need to find, a way back inside my mind.<em>

_I don't want to leave you breathless_  
><em>When will you realize<em>  
><em>I don't want to leave you breathless<em>  
><em>When will you realize<em>  
><em>I don't want to leave you breathless<em>  
><em>When will you save yourself<em>  
><em>Yeah!<em>

_I spend my days looking through pages_  
><em>Tryin to find a way, to get away from me<em>  
><em>A lot to give that leaves you breathless<em>  
><em>Now all I need to find, a way back inside my mind<em>

_I need to find_  
><em>A way back inside my mind .<em>

_This is not the end,_  
><em>This is the end of,<em>  
><em>This is not the end,<em>  
><em>This is the end of,<em>  
><em>This is not the end,<em>  
><em>This is the end of,<em>  
><em>This is not the end.<em>

_Every mistake I've made leaves a scar that burns every day_  
><em>Yet still I carry on.<em>  
><em>Without regret without remorse I'm gone<em>  
><em>You're better off to walk away<em>  
><em>I am corruption, I am sin.<em>

_Forget my name_  
><em>Forget my face,<em>  
><em>Forget my name<em>  
><em>Forget my face.<em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Kakuzu/**_

Hidan is a fucking idiot. After waking me up this morning, to snore, when I don't even snore, he burnt breakfast and he broke his toe. So now I'm fucking pissed because firstly, I'm a tired shit, secondly, I'm hungry as fuck, thirdly, I can't be bothered sewing Hidan's toe back on, fourthly, I'm swearing like a madman and that's Hidan's job. Geez.

I yawned into my cup, before taking another sip of Vodka, just so I can put up with Hidan.

"Kakuzu, here's your pancakes." Hidan says, but you can tell he's concentrating. On what, I don't know and I don't really want to know.

He drops a dark, burnt to the crisp blob on my plate before dumping the pan in the sink. He leaves it there for some unfortunate miser to come wash it, so in other words, Deidara or Konan.

"Thanks." I say, finally after staring at it for a few seconds.

"No problem." He says, using his concentration voice again. He looks around hurriedly. I sigh.

"What the hell is it this time, Hidan?"

"Konan." He says, quickly. "She's going to kill me."

"Again?" I raise an eyebrow. He nods frantically.

"Hide me." He says, so innocently, that I would have laughed had I not been the tired-est shit around. I felt my head droop into my cup, and I took another sip.

"No." I slurred, throwing my 'pancake' at the back of Hidan's head. He glared at me, but it was soon replaced by a look of fear. I heard a war cry from a distance away.

"Run, bitch." I smile, drunk as hell, but it took away the pain of having to deal with two bitche-

Ahem.

"Raaaargh!" Konan came ambling out. Hidan winced.

"Too bad." I slur again, grinning under my mask.

Man, being drunk is fun. You can muck around and fuck around and no one gets mad at you, because it's not. Your. Fault! The magic. Wheeee.

I'm so high and mighty that even Hidan's dumbass Jashin can't take me down, bitch. I need coffee.

Hidan is getting pulled off by Konan now.

"Wait, bitch, come back! I want breakfast!" I moan into my cup, which is now empty by the way. I need to tell Pein to get us some more vodka. But I won't because it costs too much money. Money, money, money, in Kakuzu's world.

Wheee. Getting drunk is fun.

"Kakuzu-san?" That's shark boy's voice alright, and I don't mean Taylor Lautner. I spin around and grin madly at him, because I'm so fucking high that's legally un-weird. If that makes sense. At all.

"Yessss. Kisame-kun, ravish me." I slur, ambling towards him slowly before crashing to the floor at his feet. He shuffles his feet awkwardly. The floor smells too clean, like bleach and over excessive amounts of magnolia's and freesias, which clash horribly together. Blame Konan or Deidara.

"Let's go get you some coffee." Kisame, who is horribly tall, lifts me up by the shoulders, until we're standing at the same height.

"I don't need coffee, I need you~!" I sing, terribly out of pitch. I fall to the floor and close my eyes.

Shark man should be scared. Very scared.

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><p><em><strong>Deidara/**_

I'm running faster towards Takigakure, and according to Konan-sama, the person I'm targeting should be about-

Aha! A girl around Sasori no Danna's height stands in front of me. I shuffle to a stop and pull out some clay. I jump right into making my mouthes eat them ravenously. She doesn't look surprised but she doesn't do anything. She turns around and spots me, pitch black eyes piercing hard and cold into me. She jumps up just as I throw some clay spiders at her, but they surprise her and chase her instead of detonating like she had presumed. And I know this because?, I can hear you say. Because. That's why. I know. I'm a genius.

I jump up to a branch and swing myself up, my cloak flying out behind me. I throw some birds at her and she dodges them expertly, but she doesn't expect them to fly upwards and wrap their wings around her arms. A shocked look comes to her eyes and she looks at me with dark eyes, but with no fear.

It's starting to rain again. Slow drops come spiralling down and a few manage to fall through the leaves on onto my head.

"I'm guessing you're out to get me, huh?" She says, her voice silky and calm, like she expected it. I'm shocked and she seems to know that.

"Katsu!" I say swiftly and the birds detonate.

She poofs.

Damn, a kage bunshin.

Another copy of her emerges from the bushes but I can tell this one's for real with my eye-cam. She looks unflustered and her long dark hair flows endlessly down her back. I throw a few kunai at her while I wait for my other-mouths to finish chewing the clay. She does a back handspring and catches it with her teeth, landing on her hands and flipping into a fighting position.

"Fighting isn't all about pretty moves, little girl." I say, leaning against a tree. She doesn't catch my failed attempt at being cocky. She just removes the kunai from her mouth and throws it at me, with such incredible speed it slits the side of my sleeve open. She smirks before I realised there were strings attached to it.

"Katon: Phoenix Sage Fire Crimson Attack!" She says, her voice soft and sharp before a spiral of flames reaches up the strings and captures my arm. My arm is burnt heavily and it hung limply down. Meh. Useless.

"Here's what you were looking for." She says, tossing a body towards me, and I dodge it. I examine the face and it is indeed the person who I was meant to capture. Her eyes are dull and she's definitely dead.

"You did my job for me." I said, looking up and smiling at her. It was a hollow smile though. I run upwards swiftly climbing from tree to tree and discreetly make a clay clone with one hand. It looks pretty handsome.

"Suicide Bombing Clone!" My clone jumps down and wraps his arms tight around her.

"Katsu!"

A fiery amount of flames and smoke rises and the flaming phoenix of fire swirls around before eating up most of the area. The trees are charred but most are still standing, save for the ones that surrounded her. There's no way she could have survived that. No matter how strong she was, no one save for S-Rank nin could have avoided that. I have an iron grip put onto my Clones.

The flames subside. The smoke rises upwards and mingles with the falling rain. Mist surrounds the whole arena and I can't believe how hard it was to take down this girl. No way. She stood up, panting but with a distinct change. There were heavy chars on her body and numerous injuries but there was on other thing.

Sharingan.

I breathed out, unbelievingly.

"Who the fuck are you?"

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><p><em><strong>AN: Ta-daah! Please read and review, because I'm not posting another chapter if no one gives a shit about this. The song above is 'Breathless' by Asking Alexandria. Advertise if you actually do want this story to continue. Show your friends? Your Buddies? Please. Lol, jokes. Or not. Geez, I need to get a life.. Well, so far only one person has reviewed. So if no one is interested, I probably won't be continuing this. Sorry. **_

_**x**_

_**-MyHeart**_


	3. Chapter 3: Shock

_**A/N: Somewhat crazy chapter this time. Maybe I'm getting rusty? Dedicated to **OnceUponATeardrop** for the best review that made me squeal like a fangirl. I love everyone that reviewed(:**_  
><em><strong>Enjoy~<strong>_

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><p><em>Just talk yourself up<em>  
><em>And tear yourself down<em>  
><em>You've hit your one wall<em>  
><em>Now find a way around<em>  
><em>Well what's the problem?<em>  
><em>You've got a lot of nerve<em>

_So what'd you think I would say?_  
><em>No you can't run away, no you can't run away<em>  
><em>So what did you think I would say?<em>  
><em>No you can't run away, no you can't run away<em>  
><em>You wouldn't<em>

_I never wanted to say this_  
><em>You never wanted to stay<em>  
><em>I put my faith in you, so much faith<em>  
><em>And then you just threw it away<em>  
><em>You threw it away<em>

_I'm not so naive_  
><em>My sorry eyes can see<em>  
><em>The way you fight shy<em>  
><em>Of almost everything<em>  
><em>Well, if you give up<em>  
><em>You'll get what you deserve<em>

_So what'd you think I would say?_  
><em>No you can't run away, no you can't run away<em>  
><em>So what did you think I would say?<em>  
><em>No you can't run away, no you can't run away<em>  
><em>You wouldn't<em>

_I never wanted to say this_  
><em>You never wanted to stay<em>  
><em>I put my faith in you, so much faith<em>  
><em>And then you just threw it away<em>  
><em>You threw it away<em>

_You were finished long before_  
><em>We had even seen the start<em>  
><em>Why don't you stand up, be a man about it?<em>  
><em>Fight with your bare hands about it now<em>

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><p>I breathed out, huskily. This girl..had Sharingan? She inhaled and exhaled heavily but she still threw a kunai at me with shocking speed for her state.<p>

"Uchiha. Answer me." I said, using her supposed last name, coldly. She whirled around glaring daggers at me.  
>"Don't call me Uchiha." She snarled at me.<br>"Well, tell me your name!" I argue roughly.  
>"The name Uchiha has long met their downfall and demise." She said ignoring my question.<p>

I looked at her strangely.  
>"Not what Sasuke said." I mumbled under my breath unconsciously.<br>She looked at me.  
>"Sasuke has been brainwashed with trauma. He doesn't know what he's talking about. How do you know my otouto?" She asked in the same monotone voice as a certain Uchiha I know.<p>

"Er.." I started. Her otouto? That would mean she was related to-  
>She flung a kunai at me and this time it pinned me to the trunk of an oak tree.<br>"Do you know a certain...Itachi?" She hissed scarily, whispering in my ear.  
>I remained calm and I didn't move an inch. She took a long drag of air, like she was tired or something, then pulled out a short dagger.<p>

It was made out of some unknown shiny metal and on it's hilt was the tiny emblem of the Uchiha Clan.  
>I looked at it curiously.<br>Quickly, she pressed it's sharp tip against my neck, the cool metal waking me instantly.  
>"Why the need for the Uchiha emblem on the dagger then, huh? If the Uchihas have met their demise." I hissed, my breathing rough and raggedy as she pressed the cold tip harder on my neck.<p>

"The Uchiha name is precious. Restoring it isn't my job, though. They met their own suffering through my dearest brother. Answer my question." She snarled menacingly, hitching her knee up so it pressed against my torso. I was pretty much trapped.

"Your b-brother?" I breathed out. I was finding difficulty in talking and breathing now that she was pressed up agains my lungs and with a knife against my throat. She pressed the knife in and a drop of blood carried itself down my neck. I winced in pain.

"That wasn't my question." She said sharply. I sighed tiredly. Sorry Itachi, but I don't like you anyway.  
>"I do know an Itachi." I said slowly. Her eyes widened for a second before they narrowed. She tightened her grip on her dagger.<p>

"Tell me more." She hissed through clenched teeth. I sighed once again. Slowly, making sure that she didn't notice, my hand moved down towards my clay pouch. Now I just needed to talk to keep her distracted.

"Itachi...Uchiha?" I questioned even though the answer was already quite clear. Her eyes narrowed even more, giving her the appearance of a raven. She nodded once, stiffly.

"First of all.." I started, "What is he to you?" She loosened the grip on her dagger and let me go. I looked at her strangely, not sure how to take my new freedom. Spoke too soon.

"Fuuton: Wind Ropes!" She said. An invisible rope tied me to the tree, my head slamming back, roughly. I grinned, a trail of blood leaking from my mouth.

"You shouldn't be too rough on your prisoners, Uchiha-san." I said, smiling at what I called her. Her eyes widened before narrowing again.  
>"Tell me what you know." She said.<br>"...Itachi Uchiha, huh? Well, Itachi here is in the Akatsuki. He's a genjutsu master and a genius overall. He's an antisocial piece of ass, no offense." I raised my hand as much as I could in an offering of piece.

She looked at me like I was meant to continue so I carried on hastily.  
>"Uh, he likes dango." Once it was out of my mouth I cringed at how dumb that sounded. It was strange how much fear such a little girl could instill within me.<p>

"Can I just ask you one thing..?" I said softly.  
>She nodded hesitantly.<br>"How can you use Fuuton? I thought most Uchihas had Fire type and Lightning type nature." I asked curiously. My hand mouth had reached my clay and was eating it vigorously. She didn't notice yet.

She looked at me strangely before turning away, placing her hand on her hip. She rested against the tree lazily.  
>"...Sharingan." She said finally, her tone not harsh at all when she said it but more...melodious.<p>

Ah. The copy Sharingan. Infamous in it's monstrosity. It was done. My hand mouth spit out an array of my clay weapons. Her guard was down and her ropes had weakened since she wasn't an original Wind type user. I broke out of it quickly, throwing spiders at her. She looked at them, startled, before making a hand sign.

"Shunshin!" She said quickly before she disappeared. A poof of air behind me signaled her reappearance but I quickly turned around and met her punch with one of my own. I flinched from the impact but she didn't even move an inch from my fist connecting with her gut.

She moved her fist and kicked me in the balls before uppercutting me in the jaw.  
>"Don't try to escape." She said, roughly swinging me up by the collar and punching me roughly. I flew back around 120 meters and she walked calmly and picked me up again, before slamming me into the oak tree. The sides of my peripheral vision were blurred and I was falling, falling..<p>

—

When I woke up again, both my hands were intact, and no pain was upon me, besides drowsiness. I looked around, but darkness was all around except for a glowing orange light emanating from a flame, most likely. I sat up slowly, careful not to put too much pressure on my arm.

The Uchiha girl was sitting at the flame looking at it. In her hand she held her dagger. She looked up at me, her beautiful features illuminated be the flame, making her look even more hauntingly beautiful.

"You're awake, I see. I'm sorry. I lost my temper." She said softly. Her skirt was in tatters and her raven hair was tousled roughly but it suited her.  
>"Wh-why did you heal me?" My voice cracked a bit from my throat being dry and parched.<p>

She looked at me again.  
>"Because I'm not Itachi." She said softly, barely audible over the loud chirping crickets. She shuffled closer to the flame and dipped her hand in the fire. She withdrew her hand and began playing with the bit of fire in her hands.<p>

I sat up slowly and walked towards her. She didn't seem to be dangerous now and anyway, my hand mouths were hurting badly. I looked at them, and they were red and swollen. She looked at them.  
>"Sorry. I had to give them something, because they kept biting me while I was trying to heal you." She said dismissively.<br>I nodded slowly.

"In return.." She continued.  
>"Lead me to Itachi." She said it so softly this time, almost reminiscent.<br>"What is Itachi to you?" I said.  
>She looked at me straight in the eye.<br>"My brother."

"And your name?" I enquired even further.  
>She looked at me and breathed out. She looked tired. Incredibly tired.<br>"Shiai Uchiha. The last of the high and mighty Uchiha women."

And the world stood still.

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><p><em><strong>AN: Quite a short chapter this time 'cos it is. And I said so. And **chillybean**, yes each one is going to have their own separate 'secret' or part in this story. Please keep reading. Review!(: Er, the song is **_**For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic, by Paramore.**

_**-•MyHeart•-**_


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